


Talking about the Future

by Princex_N



Series: Autistic!Haikyuu [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ableism, Autism, Autistic Nishinoya, Autistic Sugawara, Executive Dysfunction, Gen, Insecurity, Light Angst, Starts with some Angst but ends with Good Vibes, suga is the mom friend who likes to help people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 02:09:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5809543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princex_N/pseuds/Princex_N
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Suga is well aware of the fact that he's a third year in high school. He knows that that means that he's supposed to know what he's going to do with his life, he's supposed to have those steps planned out so that when the time comes, he already knows what he's doing.<br/>But the problem is that Suga doesn't know what he's doing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talking about the Future

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for Casual Ableism.

Suga is well aware of the fact that he's a third year in high school. He knows that that means that he's supposed to know what he's going to do with his life, he's supposed to have those steps planned out so that when the time comes, he already knows what he's doing. 

But the problem is that Suga doesn't know what he's doing. 

He doesn't know what he wants to do for the rest of his life. All he really knows is that right now, he wants to play volleyball and he doesn't want to worry about all the other stuff.

But everyone else wants him to worry about all the other stuff, so that means that Suga doesn't really have a choice in the matter. 

This is the third time that Suga's been called aside by a teacher this month. He doesn't think that they have any intention of stopping until he's able to give them an answer. But all of their pestering really just makes it harder for him to give them an answer. Suga doesn't deal well with pressure and stress, and that's really all his current situation is giving him. 

The only good thing that's come out of this situation is that he's gotten pretty good at sneaking around and evading teachers. 

But it's not a perfected skill yet. 

"Sugawara-kun! I was hoping to catch you!" Someone calls, and Suga tries not to wince as he turns around to see who it is, pasting a smile on his face as he mentally flips through his mind for the right thing to say.

"Can I help you?" He asks, and hopes that he isn't able to at all. 

"I noticed that you hadn't turned in your career sheet yet." She says, catching up to him. "Are you planning on it?" 

Suga wasn't. "Yes! Sorry, I think I might have misplaced it somewhere." 

"Well, if you can't find it, make sure you come get a new copy from me, okay?" He nods, and hopes that's it, that she'll let him go. He's going to be late for practice at this rate. But she isn't saying that he can leave, instead she has him fixed with a calculating look. "You know, I was glancing over your records the other day." She says finally, and Suga feels a thrill of anxiety shoot through his chest. "It said that you were autistic, but you know, I really don't see it." 

Suga's mind is blank. He doesn't have a script for something like this, and he has no idea what to say to something like that  _at all_. 

"Uhm. Is that so?" he manages to choke out, hoping that his disbelief isn't showing on his face. 

"Yeah, you know, that social stuff? I haven't seen you have any problems with anything like that, you always speak so nicely, and you have friends. From what I can see, I don't see any problems at all, are you sure that diagnosis is accurate? You seem perfectly normal to me." 

Suga has no idea what the hell he's supposed to do or say in this situation. He can feel himself grinning out of nerves and sheer disbelief, but he wishes that he was able to make a more serious face. He really can't believe that she's saying this to him, and he knows that he should try and correct her, but he has no idea how to do something like that. There are so many things to say, but none of them are finding their way to his vocal chords. 

"I-I..." He stammers, but doesn't have a reply, "I have practice." 

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I was holding you up! Just make sure you find your career sheet, okay?" 

"Okay." He says, a bit faintly, but she's already walking off at a brisk pace. Once she's out of sight, he lets out a huge sigh, running a hand through his hair. He walks as fast as he can without being yelled at to the gym, trying to shake off the gross feeling that the conversation gave him. 

Practice helps. Repetitive plays and the rhythmic sound of volleyballs being served or hitting against the wood floor of the gym. It's easy to forget all of the things that everyone thinks he's  _supposed_ to be worried about. He doesn't have to worry about those things, he just has to focus on what he wants to do. 

Until... "I want to buy it, but I'm definitely going to have to get a job for something like that, but it's just sooo much work!" Nishinoya whines, "Suga-san, you seem like the kind of guy to have a job, do you?" 

"Ah, no. Those kinds of things are a bit difficult for me." There's a lot of things to take into consideration, having to find the kind of job that Suga would like and be happy about, having to go ask for an application, apply, do an interview where you have to make eye contact and look professional, and if you get the job you have to deal with transportation and schedules that sometimes move around, and things like customers and long hours, not to mention the fact that it would disrupt his routine and leave him with less energy for things like homework. Having to get a job is another thing that Suga prefers to ignore rather than think about. 

"Right!!?" Nishinoya shouts, "It's so annoying." 

There's a pause which Suga hopes means the end of the conversation, but then Nishinoya asks, "What do you want to do with your life?" 

Suga tenses a bit, wonders why Nishinoya wants to have a conversation like this all of a sudden and why other people can't just leave this sort of thing alone. "I'm... not sure." Suga admits hesitantly, "Something with volleyball, maybe? I think, mostly I want to help people." 

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not entirely sure," Suga tries to laugh, thinks he succeeds, but isn't really sure. "That's just the feeling that I get."

Nishinoya sighs, "I don't know what I want to do either." He says, tossing a volleyball up and catching it rhythmically. "My mom keeps asking me now that I'm a second year, but I don't know. It feels like I can barely take care of myself, much less do even more, you know? Like, it's like I'm always forgetting to do really basic stuff like shower and eat. Sometimes even when I remember it's like I  _still_ can't do it, even though I know that I have to. My mom always has to remind me of stuff and make me actually get up and do it, and I can barely manage that stuff, but she also wants me to like, get a job and stuff and it's just... really exhausting."

Suga nods, "It helps to prepare for those kind of things beforehand." 

"What does that mean?" 

"Well, I have alarms and lists to remind me to do things. And for things like showers, I make sure that everything I need is already together so I don't have to spend the energy to keep everything together."

Suga looks up at Nishinoya to see the second year grimacing at him, "That also kind of sounds like a lot of work." 

Suga laughs, and it's real this time. "It is kind of hard at first, but it does help in the long run. I can help you get started, if you want." 

"Woah!! Really?!" Suga would swear that Nishinoya is sparkling. "That's so cool, thanks Suga-san!" 

"It's no trouble! But we should probably get back to practice, we might get yelled at." 

Nishinoya laughs obnoxiously, and they do get yelled at a bit. Suga goes home with Nishinoya to help him set up calendars and reminders, pulling up pictures of his own set up to show Nishinoya and his mom how it works. The two of them are extremely enthusiastic about the concept, and Suga winds up spending more time there than he had planned, but he finds that he doesn't mind. When he finally does leave, Nishinoya has a monthly calendar, a weekly schedule, designated areas for Nishinoya to put things in order to make remembering and doing tasks easier, and a short list of tricks that Suga uses to help himself deal with his executive dysfunction. 

As he walks home, Suga finds his mind wandering back to the conversation he had with his teacher earlier, and feels a bit sick. But he shakes his shoulders a bit and taps his fingers on his cheekbone, right on his mole, and forces himself to think about something else. It doesn't matter what other people have to say, as long as he's comfortable with himself that's all that matters. He focuses on the feeling that he got when he was helping Nishinoya and reminds himself that feelings like that are more important. 

He still doesn't know what he's going to do with his life, and he definitely doesn't know what to write down on that career sheet, but he doesn't feel like it actually matters, at the moment. One day, he'll grow up to help people, and even if he doesn't know exactly  _how_ yet, it's better to focus on how he can help people  _now_ and use his energy there. The other stuff will come later, he supposes, and he doesn't mind having to wait a bit. It'll work out eventually. 

**Author's Note:**

> For people who use conversation scripts, [this](http://conversationscripts.tumblr.com/) is an amazing resource that i really recommend. Also here are [some](http://lhturnbeutel.tumblr.com/post/135371931183/as-a-child-i-had-this-really-interesting-way-of) [executive](http://philome.la/jace_harr/you-feel-like-shit-an-interactive-self-care-guide/play) [dysfunction](http://autisticresources.tumblr.com/post/127325222234/heres-an-app-to-help-with-executive-dysfunction) [resources](http://talesfromthechickpea.tumblr.com/post/99105296600/focusing-tips), and [what it is](http://askanautistic.tumblr.com/post/129457365754/what-exactly-is-executive-dysfunction-i-think) for people who don't know. This wasn't really the direction I was planning this fic to go in but I like the way it turned out anyway.  
> also if you're looking around for other resources you can hmu at my [tumblr](http://www.princex-n.tumblr.com) i'm always willing to help out!


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